11 Mostly Christmassy Things To Do In San Francisco With Toddlers In 24 Hours

22 December 2019

I may still be a bit of a rookie dad, but when it comes to knowing San Francisco call me Ali Wong, Willie Brown, Grace Slick, or Sun Kil Moon. I may not be able to tell you where to take your toddlers for holiday fun in Palmdale, but when it comes to SF you are in good hands.

A few pre-SF-day suggestions: Bring a stroller. Bring layers -- it gets cold, sunny, rainy, and windy from one minute to the next, so pack accordingly. Bring sippy cups and snacks. In terms of hotels, I would try to stay somewhere near Nob Hill or Union Square. This will allow you to walk to most of the places I’m going to suggest here. The Stanford Court on California is a good spot. You can typically find good deals, and it’s in the perfect location. Oh, and do some walking or other cardio training in advance. This ain’t flat Manhattan. SF’s hills are bananas.

PC: Free-Photos

Let’s get started. We only have one day.

Start at the Fairmont Hotel at the top of Nob Hill. Ideally, you will arrive at the Fairmont in the morning because you’ll beat the crowds and because I have a full day planned for you. Toddlers love the the giant gingerbread house that they have in the lobby during the holiday season (a few stats about the house itself: more than 6,000 house-made gingerbread bricks; 1,650 pounds of candy; and 3,300 pounds of royal icing are used). While you are there, let the kids run down the long lobby hallways while you check out classic pictures of Tony Bennett (whom they love here, even though he was born in Queens). And check out the roof garden. Great views and another place to let the kids burn off some energy.

Go out the front door of the Fairmont, and go straight across the street to Huntington Park. Your kids will dig it. The park was donated to the city in 1915 by the widow of railroad baron Collis Potter Huntington, who was a white dude who bribed politicians. Check out the historic Fountain of the Turtles replica directly adjacent to the park, as well. Great spot for some pics.

From the park, head west across the street to Grace Cathedral. The cathedral has appeared in six films so far, including one by Alfred Hitchcock. Ansel Adams produced photos of the cathedral, Dr. King delivered a sermon at Grace, and Duke Ellington performed there, as well. The kids will love looking at the stained glass windows, walking the two labyrinths, and checking out their uniquely-decorated tree.

When you walk down the steps from Grace, make a left onto Taylor. The next three stops won’t be Chismassy, per se, but the kids will dig them, so let’s keep walking. When you get to Clay Street, make a right and head down the hill. Two hands on the stroller, please. You’ll pass a market at 1199 Clay — that’s where Frank Bullitt shopped in the Steve McQueen film. Head down to Mason Street, make a left, and continue for a block.

You should now be in front of the Cable Car Museum. Go in. It’s free. The kids can sit in some old cable cars and flatten a penny for a dollar.

Make a left on Mason Street as you leave the museum. When you are about halfway down the block look up and to the east and yell out “Charlie, you around? I got the results back… you’re my dad!” Maybe Charlie will pop his head out, laugh, and wave. Or maybe not. Either way, it’s worth a couple of shouts. When you get to Jackson Street, bust a righty.

Go two and a half blocks, turn right into Ross Alley, and look for the red lanterns. That’ll be the Fortune Cookie Factory. A dubious friend may be an enemy in camouflage. A fresh start will put you on your way. I don’t know if you’ll get those fortunes or 04-16-38-10-05-20, but either way you’ll be fortunate you stopped at this place.

PC: Darius Smiley

At this point, lunch should be sounding good. Take a left as you go back out Ross Alley and then a right on Stockton. Now, I would suggest one parent push the stroller and entertain the kids while the other runs down Stockton for five or so blocks to Union. Once there, get your name on the list for a table at Tony’s Pizza Napoletana on the corner. There is usually a wait, so getting there well before the toddlers can be a good way to handle it.

Here’s a review in French pour vous.

After lunch, burn off some of that delicious pie by walking down Grant Street toward your hotel. Hopefully, you took my advice and got a room near Nob Hill or Union Square. Walking down Grant will give you a good look at Chinatown. Apparently, San Francisco’s Chinatown is the largest Chinatown outside of Asia and the oldest in North America.

Go back to your room and relax a little bit. Well, I shouldn’t use the word “relax” around parents of toddlers, but take a few minutes to clean up, maybe pop on some cartoons for the kids, do some stretching, and hydrate.

Now, since the sun sets before 5pm around the holidays, I’d recommend rallying the troops and getting back out before 5pm. Before you head out, though, you may want to see if the Cheesecake Factory in the Macy’s building in Union Square takes reservations. The only reason I’m suggesting this place is because it’s on the 8th floor, has a great view of the square, and is toddler-friendly. If you are staying at the Stanford Court, then just make a right on California as you leave the lobby and your first right on Powell and go straight down a few steep hills (the hills in SF are not only hard to go up; they are even hard to go down.) You will drop right into Union Square, where the kids can see the beautiful tree and ice skating rink. Also, on the east side of the square, there’s an alley called Maiden Lane. It’s closed off to vehicular traffic, and there are carolers and decorations. It’s a beautiful stroll. You can also cut the kids loose from the stroller there and let them run down their batteries some more. The Cheesecake Factory is just one street south on Geary in the Macy’s building. You can’t miss it. Eat a bunch of cheesecake (Adam’s Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple and The Ultimate Red Velvet ought to do you just right) and then push the stroller up five blocks of hills and call it a night. Or go back down and do another set. Feel the burn!

If your family is like our family, then I’m sure your next day will start when it’s still dark. There are few upsides to this, except when you are in SF trying to hit as much as you can in less than 24 hours. Grab the car and turn left onto California. Make a right on Van Ness and there should be a Starbucks in the Wells Fargo on your right-hand side. Not pitching Starbucks, but trying to make this easy on the toddler-toting families (think mobile-order options and grab-the-kids oatmeal and croissants so you can keep it moving). Caffeinate as you head to Lombard and Hyde. Head east on Lombard and enjoy the most crooked street in the world (this stretch of Lombard normally sees around 250 vehicles per hour, but not at 7 or 8am, so thank your kids for getting you up at 5.)

Once you get to the bottom of the crooked street, just stay on Lombard all the way to Coit Tower. I have very fond memories of visiting Coit Tower with my family. I couldn’t get the boys to stay still long enough to get a great picture of them with the Golden Gate bridge shining behind them; they knocked over my coffee and broke their mom’s glasses. Ahhh parenthood! Anyway, this is another good spot for pics (if you’re luckier than I was, that is) and toddler energy release. The kids will enjoy walking around the tower and the surrounding park area. Given the still-early hour, you will also likely see the Tai Chi practitioners in Pioneer Park.

Once you finish at Coit Tower, punch Pier 39 into your GPS and head that way. Park and walk to the end of the west side of the pier. You can see and hear all of the sea lions that hang out there. It’s a sweet site for kids and adults alike. Nobody has any idea why the sea lions chose this avoidable tourist trap (anybody want a coffee and six mini doughnuts for $18?) as their hang-out spot, but they’re there, so enjoy.

PC: ArtTower

One final stop. From Pier 39, head to the Ferry Building via the Embarcadero. It’s about 1.5 miles that — depending on the time of day — can take 15 minutes or 12 hours. You can take — wait for it — ferries from the ferry building, but it’s also got great shops and restaurants. It’s a nice place for kids and parents alike to stroll and enjoy the energy of the marketplace as well as the view of the water. And it has survived both the 1906 and 1989 earthquakes, so apparently it was made well.

PC: MrsSharrar

And that concludes the 24-hour tour. My work here is done. I lost the narrative and forgot that this was supposed to be a Christmassy tour with eleven points of interest. I didn’t actually count the stops. Regarding Christmas, I hope you saw lots of wreaths and white guys with beards along the way. Apologies if you didn’t get your fill of tinsel and holly, though. I have no idea if you need to get to the airport now or are driving the minivan back to Lodi, but be safe and don’t forget to tip your guide. Wishing you and yours the happiest and jolliest of holidays!