Divorced Dad Days
Divorce is without question one of the most challenging experiences we will ever go through, marked by emotional upheaval, uncertainty, and profound change. For dads navigating through the tumultuous waters of divorce, some days will feel insurmountable. From dealing with legal questions to managing the profound emotional toll, the journey tests even the strongest of individuals.
There will be days, as you move through your divorce, when just getting out of bed takes everything you’ve got. That’s completely normal AND when you do get out of bed give yourself a high five. Celebrate that shit.
There will be many nights when sleep will be elusive. You may have nightmares. You may wake up disoriented as if someone kidnapped you. You’ll look around a half-moved in apartment and wonder where you are and how you got there. Totally normal.
The emotional roller coaster of divorce is one of the most difficult challenges that we dads will face. From the initial shock of separation to the grief of losing the life we once knew, the compounding simultaneous losses can be overwhelming. There will be many days when we will find ourselves consumed by sadness, anger, loneliness, unable to see a way forward.
Then throw in the challenges of co-parenting and it’s just one hard thing to face after another for dads. The fear of losing time with our children or the uncertainty of what the future holds weighs heavily on our minds and in our hearts. We have to figure out how to get on the same page regarding time with our kids and what we feel is best for them with our ex. It’s brutal.
From custody disputes to property division, navigating the legal system can be both emotionally and financially draining for dads.
And these Legal proceedings can stretch on for months or even years, prolonging the uncertainty and adding to the overall stress level. For many dads, the financial strain of divorce can be overwhelming, particularly if faced with big legal fees or the prospect of paying spousal or child support.
Loneliness and isolation are real. It hits hard. We have to grapple with the loss of our marriages, the loss of our families. It;s like the family dynamic, the unit, has been blown up. Feels like fragments all out of place. There will be days, when not seeing our children, when the memories of happier times leave us feeling disconnected from the world around us. Navigating single parenthood will contribute to feelings of loneliness, particularly because we’ll find ourselves struggling to juggle work, parenting responsibilities, and personal well-being. The lack of a partner to share the burden compounds these feelings. We will feel overwhelmed and alone. It is incredibly painful af and totally normal.
Divorce can trigger intense feelings of self-doubt and guilt, particularly if we are blaming ourselves. There will be days, when we find ourselves questioning our decisions or replaying past events, searching for answers that will likely never come. The guilt of not being able to provide our kids with the stable, two-parent home we once envisioned will weigh heavily on us as well.
While the challenges of divorce may feel insurmountable at times, it's important for us to remember that we are not alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. We need safe spaces to express our feelings and get coaching and advice (sign up for our free virtual support group if you need support).
Some days are just going to be hard. We need to give ourselves a lot of grace and compassion. With time and support we can heal up. We need to trust that.
