Divorce Tips For Dads

For dads navigating divorce, the emotional, financial, and practical aspects can be particularly daunting and overwhelming. However, and I know this may be hard to let in right now, with the right mindset, strategies, and support, it is very possible to emerge from possibly one of the darkest periods of your life with resilience, clarity, and a genuinely positive outlook. Here are a few tips to help dads navigate this journey.

Open Communication

Clear and open communication is essential, both with your soon-to-be ex, and with your children. Despite how hard it may be, do your best to step up, and create intentions for how you plan to communicate throughout. Discussing important, and often difficult, issues calmly and respectfully can lay the foundation for a more amicable divorce. This will also help prevent misunderstandings and hopefully foster a workable co-parenting relationship.

Call A Lawyer Right Away

Despite how we all may feel about this system, and who it benefits, failing to understand your legal rights and responsibilities is a recipe for an a— kicking. It doesn’t have to be adversarial, and you hope that it isn’t, but regardless, you need to know this stuff. Period. Seek the counsel of a qualified (highly rated, recommended, etc) family law attorney who specializes in divorce cases. By jumping on this early, you give yourself a huge advantage because so many people are so caught up in their emotions that they fail to take practical and smart steps that later can really mess up their lives long term. Make this call.

Co-Parenting Is Everything

Prioritize co-parenting efforts. Try to create a fair parenting plan that lays out responsibilities, visitation, and decision-making processes. etc. At the end of the day, this becomes all about the children and we have the ability to create stable situations for them if we lean into and lead on co-parenting early.

Take Care of Your Health

There are times in life when we are thriving. This isn’t one of them. This is survival time. Get a therapist, join a divorce support group, walk, get outside, do breathwork, journal, eat right and even though it’s hard af to sleep especially in those first months, do your best to get rest. You need all of this stuff just to stay sane in my opinion. You first. Your oxygen mask first.

Finances

Divorce often has real financial implications, and it's important to approach this aspect with a clear plan. Work with a financial advisor to understand the financial implications of the divorce, including property division, alimony, and child support. Develop a budget that reflects your new financial reality and plan for the future to ensure financial stability. There will be a lot of fear and resistance her potentially, but piush through that. This is so important for you, for your kids.

Emotional Challenges

This is going to be as intense of an emotional roller coaster that you ever go on. So buckle up. There will be ups and downs and you’ll get bounced around. Just hold on, breathe, remind yourself of all the people who have weathered this storm and made it through. You will too. Don’t resist feeling the feeling. Remember the saying- what you resist persists. Let the emotions flow. The grief, the anger, the sadness, etc. You can’t heal if you don’t feel so feel it all and lean on your community to help get you through. This isn’t a solo sport.

Document Everything

Keep detailed records of all communication with your ex-spouse, financial transactions, and any other relevant information. This documentation can serve as valuable evidence if disputes arise and can provide a clear picture of your contributions and responsibilities. Do this. Call a lawyer right away and start documenting right away. I don’t care if you still love her.

Be Realistic

Divorce is a process, not an event, and it's essential to set realistic expectations. Understand that there will be so many challenges along the way, but with time, patience, and the right support systems in place, you can navigate through this sh— successfully. You can do this. Like Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption, you too can crawl through 500 yards of sh— to get to Zihuatanejo